dirtygames.ca

On June 22, 2009, along with thousands of other writers and editors who cover video games, sports or both, I received a press release from EA Sports, developer of the bestselling NHL franchise.

Electronic Arts Inc. (NASDAQ: ERTS) today revealed that 20-year-old scoring phenom Patrick Kane of the Chicago Blackhawks will be the new face of the NHL® 10 videogame from EA SPORTS™.

An interesting choice. But so what? Little did we know at the time that Patrick Kane and the Chicago Blackhawks were about to take sports-related merchandising curses to a level never before seen by the SI Jinx or the Madden Curse, both of which usually require a game or two to be played before taking effect.

The EA release not only praised Kane, but the entire Chicago franchise:

Having emerged as one of the most skilled players in the NHL in just two seasons, Kane won the Calder Trophy as Rookie of the Year in 2008 and this year led the Blackhawks to the Western Conference Finals. He has scored more than 20 goals and registered more than 70 points in each of his first two seasons.
…

“At EA SPORTS we believe in identifying the most talented up-and-coming athletes in the world to help us develop the most authentic sports games,” said Jordan Edelstein, Vice-President of Marketing for EA SPORTS. “We believe Kane is one of the next great American hockey stars.

And he may well yet go down as the greatest American player to ever strap on skates. In the meantime though, in the seven weeks since this release was issued, this is what has happened to Patrick Kane and the Chicago Blackhawks:

• July 1: Blackhawks sign Marian Hossa to a 12-year, $62.8-million contract, raising questions about how they will afford to pay Kane, Jonathan Toews and Duncan Keith, three star players who will all need new contracts after this season.
• July 3: News breaks that the Blackhawks likely neglected to submit offer sheets to six restricted free agents on time and may have to forfeit their exclusive rights to negotiate with them.
• July 6: While they managed to maintain the rights to those players, they did so by signing them all very quickly after the news broke, paying what many would consider too much, particularly given their cap situation after signing Hossa on July 1.
• July 14: Ostensibly because of the free agent snafu, but perhaps moreso due to competing priorities among a fractured management, the Hawks fired GM Dale Tallon — a man who had played a big role in resurrecting a franchise once among the worst in the league — a week later.
• July 15: Martin Havlat, one of the Hawks top scoring threats in 08/09 opened his mouth shortly after signing with the Minnesota Wild and ripped Team President John McDonough a new one over the way the Tallon situation was handled. “The players loved Dale and they are with him,” Havlat said. “Every single player on that team is with Dale. I still talk to the guys all the time, hockey players know a phony when they see one.” Ouch.
• July 23: Out of the blue, seemingly — though Red Wings fans will tell you after watching him in the Stanley Cup Finals that it had to be something — Marian Hossa reveals that he’s hurt and needs shoulder surgery. The Hawks new GM, Stan Bowman, calls the injury minor. It’s not known how much of the first season under his new contract he will miss.
• July 25: Perhaps not so minor, after all. The injury is expected to sideline the Hawks new star for up to four months.
• July 31: Maybe it won’t matter too much though, as the NHL reveals that they are now investigating Marian Hossa’s contract, as it seems the low numbers tacked onto the final years of his deal are just a little too low for a player expecting to, you know, actually honour them.
• August 6: This doesn’t really count, but the face of the Blackhawks of the early 1990s, Jeremy Roenick, retires after 20 seasons in the NHL. It is noted, however, that Roenick never won a championship with the Hawks and that stench of failure remained rank on his jersey throughout his playing days. (Okay, fine, maybe that was a cheap shot.) A sad moment, nonetheless.
• August 9: In the early morning hours, Patrick Kane, the man who’s picture on the cover of a video game began this horrid string of luck, allegedly snaps after a long night of partying and, with some help from his cousin, beats the heck out of a cab driver because he didn’t have $1.20 in change for a $13.80 fare. He is arrested and charged with second degree robbery, criminal mischief and theft of services. He pleads not guilty and so continues a cursed summer for the once-upon-a-time “newly resurgent” Chicago Blackhawks.

Now … is that a curse or what? And nobody even touched a skate. A good thing too, because at this point I’m waiting for Jonathan Toews to pull a Dan Boyle.

(Please don’t do it, Jon. You’re the best thing about a team I otherwise don’t much care for. Stay away from ladders and black cats. Please. We need you for the Olympics.)