Monday, June 8th, 2009...3:45 pm

Sarah Palin told me so

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Sarah Palin used to be entertaining.

I mean, she was the perfectly-cast Hollywood sideshow foil that made last year’s election so incredibly riveting. She was so good at being the election’s comic relief that watching Tina Fey imitate her was almost disappointing. It was impossible to play a Folksy Right Wing Nutjob character and get more laughs than Sarah was getting just by being herself.

September to November of 2008 would still have been an amazing and historic few months, because of that whole inspirational story of a black man rising to assume America’s highest office narrative and all, but let’s be real for a moment — without Sarah Palin, not only does Barack Obama have a harder time getting elected, but the entire day-to-day Jerry Springer nature of the election largely disappears.

I mean, without Sarah, more people would have had to delve into their feelings on economic issues and ideological differences, the role of religion in lawmaking and the looming specter of recession. Nobody wanted to talk about that shit. It’s polarizing, but in a “I fundamentally disagree with you, kind sir” sort of way. That shit don’t cut it in a Reality TV election. Instead, all thanks to Sarah, we got to talk about lipstick and pitbulls, teen pregnancy, meth, retards, conspiracy theories about who the real mother was, secret Muslims, hockey dads who don’t want kids but don’t know when to pull out and expensive clothes purchased on the company dime.

We had Smart Black Guy vs. Old Man and Crazy Woman. It was awesome, all thanks to Sarah and her hysterical rhetoric.

So I kind of hope that Sarah Palin never goes away. She’s my favourite guilty pleasure. Her failures are the very best kind of schadenfreude.

But she needs to up her game because this, taken from an “interview” with Sean Hannity airing tonight on FOX, is just terrible:

HANNITY: You know but it goes back - It does go back a little to the campaign. I mean, ‘spread the wealth, patriotic duty…’

PALIN: Kind of a ‘we told ya so’.

HANNITY: Well, is that how you feel?

PALIN: That’s how I feel! I feel like… and I think that more and more constituents are going to open their eyes now and open their ears to hear what is really going on and realize ok… Maybe we didn’t have a good way of expressing that, or articulating that message of ‘here is what America could potentially become if we grow government to such a degree that we cannot pay for it and we have to borrow money from other countries, some countries that don’t necessarily like America.

And this many months into the new administration, quite disappointed, quite frustrated with not seeing those actions to rein in spending, slow down the growth of government. Instead Sean it is the complete opposite. It’s expanding at such a large degree that if Americans aren’t paying attention, unfortunately our country could evolve into something that we do not even recognize.

What the hell is that? I mean, sure, the jumbled syntax of someone using large words without really understanding what they mean is present. That much of the Sarah we’ve come to know and love still exists.

But really? ‘We told ya so’?! That’s the best she can do?! Where’s the damning cries of socialism? The subtle accusations of reverse racism and oblique allusions to the shadow of Islam?

Goddamnit, Sarah. You’re already the most polarizing figure in American politics. Act like it. This is weak.

Also, as it behooves anyone with a brain to point out, she is complaining about Barack Obama doing almost exactly what he told the American people he would do in response to a failing economy. Now, while it’s (in a very, very broad sense) fair of her to point out what his administration is doing, saying that ‘We told ya so’ doesn’t add much to the discussion.

I mean, you did tell them so. And Obama told them so. And they went with the black dude. Now we all get to see what happens next.

And just because it’s so goddamn easy to pick apart how misleading and disingenuous Sarah can be when she works at it, let’s debunk this quickly:

It’s expanding at such a large degree that if Americans aren’t paying attention, unfortunately our country could evolve into something that we do not even recognize.

Sigh. She’s getting so soft. Six months ago, she would have just called him a Communist and been done with it. Now she’s only hinting at a government-owner market. Perhaps this sort of tact is Sarah’s way of supporting the President. But still, let’s examine just how much of the American free market Barack Obama has put under government ownership since this whole recession thing began:

socialism-chart1

Yeah. Told ya so, indeed.

(Props to The Atlantic for the graph.)

2 Comments

  • I thought Sarah did a fabulous Tina Fey. Who the hell cares what color Obama is??? He still an egotistical, narcissistic, loathable carreer politician. They are all pieces of shit, black, white , green, or purple, I am embarrassed of our country for buying a package, voting for a personality. It’s a damn shame, not a step forward.

  • I, too, have a very pit-bull who stands out as the most adoring animal I have ever owned. Soon, a brand new dog breed will can come along for the media to blast, because they have performed rotties and dobies in past many years. Unfortunate that media sensationalism breeds so much inaccurate data.

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