dirtygames.ca

(Trust me, it fits.)

No. 821 on the list of Sports Media Cliches can be phrased in several different ways. There’s no substitute for experience. You have to learn how to lose before you learn how to win. Never underestimate the will of a champion. Until somebody knocks you off, you’re still the champ.

Etcetera, etcetera. But like most sports cliches, it’s true, which is both why we hear it so damn often and why the talking heads nod sagely whenever their cohorts bust it out.

(Actually strike the last part, Ron MacLean will still be nodding sagely when Don Cherry start discussing the internment camps for anyone of non-Kingstonian heritage.)

Sports Media Cliche No. 821, however, was on full display all weekend. It was like fucking madlibs with this shit, really. The champion prevails. Here’s the template. Fill in name, sport and quotes below.

• Roger Federer, once the greatest tennis player in the world, wins the French Open, secures his legacy and shuts up everyone speculating that he was too old, not good enough on clay and no longer a true tennis champion.
• Kobe Bryant, once a three-time NBA champion, leads his team to a 2-0 lead in the NBA Finals, shutting up those who pointed to his performance last year as evidence that he was getting old, losing power and could never win a title without Shaquille O’Neal.
• Tiger Woods, recently of OMG-What’s-Wrong-With-Tiger fame, wins the Memorial tournament in traditional I’m-Tiger-Woods-Bitch fashion, with birdies on ridiculous shots on the last two holes, to shut up anyone who wondered if he would ever be the same following knee surgery.
• The Detroit Red Wings, who you may remember from last week, when they were too old, too banged up and not fast enough to keep up with the upstart Pittsburgh Penguins, welcome Pavel Datsyuk back by smoking the Penguins 5-0 and immediately inspiring approximately 362 “We shouldn’t have counted out the Champs” articles.

If you ignore the Lakers first win on Thursday night, then that all happened within a 28-hour stretch from 8 p.m. Saturday to midnight last night.

It doesn’t make for the most original stories; nor does it do much for a hype machine that loves to market the next big, young thing, but it is rather impressive to see four world-class champions demonstrate exactly why they’re considered the best in the world at what they do.

Much of that comes from the top-percentile talent that all of these athletes possess. But there’s a good chunk of it that comes from having been there before and having the swagger to stand over a putt and think ‘There is no way I’m missing this. I’m Tiger Fucking Woods.’

That’s not the kind of thing you think about because you’re a very good golfer. That’s the kind of swagger you can summon because not only are you a very good golfer, you’ve been here, looking over this putt, dozens of times before.

In the same vein, I’m sure I could find you several dozen newspaper columns, from the past dozen or so years, hat question if the Red Wings have finally become too old to win; if Kobe really has the drive to win without Shaq and if Roger will ever return to tennis glory.

And I would have bet you money on all of them. Because while I’m not a big believer in sports cliches necessarily, this one isn’t a cliche so much as a universal truth — they’re the champs for a reason. This weekend just illustrated it.