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Are there two things on this Earth that go together more perfectly than sports commentary and Japanese poetry? Besides, with all the words that we wasted yesterday discussing these trades ad nauseum, I figured I would cut back and improve my literary footprint.

So, here is my commentary on the major trades of yesterday’s NHL frenzy, in short, traditional haikus:

The Pittsburgh Penguins acquired right winger Marian Hossa and winger Pascal Dupuis from the Atlanta Thrashers for center Angelo Esposito, right winger Colby Armstrong, center/winger Erik Christensen and a first-round draft pick in 2008.

He cost them a lot

Will he score in the playoffs?

Sens fans all say, ‘No.’

The Pittsburgh Penguins acquired defenseman Hal Gill from the Toronto Maple Leafs for a second-round draft pick in 2008 and a fifth-round draft pick in 2009.

A really tall man

Who cannot skate very fast

Just hit the jackpot

The Dallas Stars acquired center/left winger Brad Richards and goaltender Johan Holmqvist from the Tampa Bay Lightning for goaltender Mike Smith, left winger/center Jussi Jokinen and center/right winger Jeff Halpern and a fourth-round draft pick in 2009.

Got off sinking ship

Too bad Holmqvist followed you

He is terrible

The San Jose Sharks acquired defenseman Brian Campbell and a seventh-round draft pick in 2008 from the Buffalo Sabres for right winger Steve Bernier and a first-round draft pick in 2008.

Big payday ahead

But first you’re off to Cali

Sure beats Buffalo

The Florida Panthers acquired right winger/defenseman Wade Belak from the Toronto Maple Leafs for a fifth-round draft pick in 2008.

A fifth-round pick is

Better than a bag of pucks

You go, Trader Cliff!

The Washington Capitals acquired goaltender Cristobal Huet from the Montreal Canadiens for a second-round draft pick in 2009.

The rookie is good

You were no longer needed

So they dumped your ass

The Colorado Avalanche acquired defenseman Ruslan Salei from the Florida Panthers for defenseman Karlis Skrastins and a third-round draft pick in 2008.

Two old men are dealt

Both of them are foreigners

And nobody cares

The Carolina Hurricanes acquired winger Tuomo Ruutu from the Chicago Blackhawks for winger Andrew Ladd.

Untapped potential,

the sound of one hand clapping,

they are both worthless

The Ottawa Senators acquired right winger Martin Lapointe from the Chicago Blackhawks

He won a cup once

With some guy named ‘Yzerman’

They don’t have that guy

The Florida Panthers acquired left winger/center Chad Kilger from the Toronto Maple Leafs for a third-round draft pick in 2008.

Pack your bags again

The moving van is waiting

No, you cannot stay

The Colorado Avalanche acquired defenseman Adam Foote from the Columbus Blue Jackets for a conditional first-round draft pick in 2008 or 2009 and a conditional fourth-round selection in 2009.

A long journey home

Back to where they know your name

Too bad you’re old now

The Washington Capitals acquired center Sergei Fedorov from the Columbus Blue Jackets for defenseman Ted Ruth.

In spring he was good

Summer made him petulant

Now it’s his autumn

The Washington Capitals acquired winger Matt Cooke from the Vancouver Canucks for winger Matt Pettinger.

Trade two guys named ‘Matt’

The Canucks fans will notice

Caps fans? Not so much

The Washington Capitals acquired left winger/center Alexandre Giroux from the Atlanta Thrashers for winger Joe Motzko.

Winter’s frost lingers

as the deadline deals are made

So does apathy

The Detroit Red Wings acquired defenseman Brad Stuart from the Los Angeles Kings for a second-round draft pick in 2008 and a fourth-round draft pick in 2009.

He is a big guy

All he cost them was draft picks

At least he’s healthy

The Anaheim Ducks acquired defenseman Marc-Andre Bergeron from the New York Islanders for a third-round draft pick in 2008.

He has two first names

So do both of their goalies

What is Burke up to?

The Minnesota Wild acquired left winger Chris Simon from the New York Islanders for a sixth-round draft pick in 2008.

He’s a psychopath

And they’ve got a steroid freak

What is up with that?