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… and y’all thought we stopped writing this blog. Never that.

It was the off-season for us, folks. Every sport has an off-season. Baseball has the winter, Football has spring and summer. Heck, basketball and hockey have all summer and then the first three months of their regular seasons. (Guess what? If you just started paying attention to those sports, the Red Wings and Senators and the Spurs and Pistons are still real good. Apparently Boston’s basketball team is decent, too, but we’ll wait until the real season starts to pass judgement. Boston’s hockey team still sucks. Now you’re up to date.)

Anyway, every sport has an off-season. Ours was the past few months — a period without any real politics, journalism or sports news worthy of our attention. And a life. We had that, too, albeit briefly.

Now that we’re once again engrossed in all the scum that hangs on the rim of the political and journalistic bathtub (in sports it’s mostly tile scum, and it hides on the walls of the communal shower rooms that are not at ALL homoerotic), we’ll start where it’s thickest. That’s right, we’re whipping out the heavy-duty, Canadian Tire-brand cleaner, as well as those paper towels that are so thick they’re like real cloth towels (only disposable!) and delving into the coverage given by Fox News to Democratic Presidential Nominee Hopeful (or DPNH) Barack Obama:

Oh. My. God. No.

Barack Obama is a smoker. Really, he is. I’m not joking. And he doesn’t smoke Menthols, either. See, the mainstream media told you he wasn’t black enough to be president.

In all honesty, as an ex-smoker (for about a week and a half now, and going strong) I’m disgusted by this.

Media Matters has a great roundup of the whole non-issue-becoming-an-issue.

What happened was, a Fox News commentator called Obama’s penchant for what his wife says is “three Marlboros a day” his “dirty little secret”:

“His team works overtime trying to hide Obama’s dirty little secret. He is — get this — a cigarette smoker. The point is: What else do we not know about Barack Obama? America seems to love him now, but will we still love him tomorrow?”

The problem with this, as you’ve probably already guessed, is that Obama has never made a secret of the fact that every once in a while he enjoys a fresh, relaxing smoke. I mean, after all, it’s the perfect way to get out of a crowded office, take in some fresh air, clear your mind and inhale the sweet, sweet scent of — right, I’m a non-smoker now. Sorry.

Anyway, like I was saying, the problem is that Obama has spoken of his smoking to the Chicago Tribune:

One thing he has tried to do for his children–quit smoking–is among his biggest struggles. “The flesh is weak,” he said. “It’s an ongoing battle. I have my gum, my patches and all that stuff.”

His smoking was, in fact, known as far back as an article in the Chicago Sun-Times written during his successful Senate campaign in 2004:

And Obama does have one habit that drives his wife nuts. Michelle Obama says her husband smokes — about three Marlboros a day.

“That is the dark underbelly of Barack Obama,” she says laughing. “That and the sock thing.”

Umm, the “sock thing” — before Fox News turns that one into an excellent graphic about Obama’s fetishistic choice of condom — is his penchant for leaving dirty ass socks on the floor of his bedroom for his wife to clean up.

Even Fox News might not be able to run with that one. But I have a sneaking suspicion that Hillary Clinton could turn that into a campaign ad that discusses the myriad ways in which Sen. Obama takes women for granted:

“Do you really want to entrust your nation to a man who relies on a woman to clean up after him?”

I am totally not going there. You couldn’t pay me enough. Or give me enough smokes.

My final word on this topic: If my preferred choice for President of the United States of America is going to hack butts … you’re damn right he’s gotta be a Marlboro Man!

(Photoshop: adrants.com)